After a long day fueled by nothing but a coffee spiked with protein powder, functional mushrooms and MCT oil – because apparently we’re all biohacking our way through election season – I made my way from the morning Board of Directors meeting to the annual RSFA Board of Director’s Candidate Forum with a brief pit stop in between in order to draft a recap before the mushrooms kicked in.
It looked like it was set for a wedding, farmhouse chairs, chiffon draped ceilings, floral displays on belly bars, and wine and snacks for after. But it felt like there was another more exciting party across town and that’s where the cool kids were.
The questions were carefully curated. Nothing spicy. Nothing remotely resembling the “fireworks” from the earlier Board meeting. The audience was warned not to clap, or have any verbal outbursts – a far cry from the golf bros of yore, swilling wine in the back of the room jeering at members giving speaker input after the golf course grading debacle. This time? Quietly civilized. Like a chess club meeting with better snacks.
I guess there’s no real pressing issue this election cycle. The course is finished, the eucalyptus removed without so much as a shadow falling on the perfectly coiffed, sun-drenched green, the restaurant reno is humming along, the golf snack bar is set for demo, and news that apparently surprised no one – a new golf club fitness room just received $50K to start the ball rolling.
Word on the street is the golf club already got the memo on which candidates are “friendly”, and since only the Dems in D.C. are better at closing ranks, I guess there’s no real need for them to show up when the outcome is already – how shall we say – well-marinated.
The candidates are, genuinely, all great. They love the Ranch. They love its history. Annie wants to increase member participation through Town Halls – and has actually hosted several, which puts her approximately several Town Halls ahead of most people in local governance. Jeff has a history of serving on lots of committees (including alongside me on the Art Jury, where I can confirm he is both collegial and opinionated about aesthetics in the best way) and is determined to fix the County permitting issues at Osuna – a task roughly as fun as it sounds. And Charles, a relative newcomer, would like to deploy his advertising prowess from his days at Young & Rubicam to enhance the Ranch’s brand.
So ballots were sent out today and due by 5 p.m., Friday, June 15. They’re triple enveloped in keeping with Davis-Stirling HOA rules – a process so elaborately secured it makes you feel like you’re handling classified intelligence, not a neighborhood election. They are opened and hand counted in public, which means no mysterious pauses while extra ballots materialize from a rolling suitcase. Ironclad. Airtight. And almost entirely beside the point.
Because the only real weak link in this whole operation is the members. They just don’t vote. You’d think they would – they live here, they pay dues, they presumably have opinions. But unless the RSFA proposes something genuinely alarming like a giant assessment or rate increase, they hum along happily assuming all is right with the HOA. And that must be a lovely place to live.